Jul. 12th, 2013

emilie_rainbow: (camera)

I've gained about 12 pounds since I moved here. This is by no means a lot, but with the 6 pounds I gained in the two months before coming here and the 15 pound deficit I'd been trying to recover from after the break up, my body feels really different. I think it's all the alcohol, and the happiness. When I'm not an anxious mess a majority of the time, it's a lot easier to eat. And with the disturbing dearth of vegetables in this country, the carbs and the liquor and the sodas add up, even though I'm also in better shape than ever due to the immense number of stairs. "Better shape" of course just means that I can walk up all the stupid stairs, at least without getting completely winded. I feel filled out. I feel womanly. I feel more solid and less like I will break easily.

I love teaching. I love love teaching very small children. 4-6 is my favorite, then 1.5-3. Older than 6 are really hit and miss. Some days those classes are great, others are frustrating. Although never dull. Adult classes are often dull. I think I may want to teach preschool when I get back. Which would have been an absolutely HORRIFYING concept to me 6 months ago. But I feel energized and happy after my kids classes. Even when they don't listen, even when they cry or hand me flash cards they've put in their mouths or high five me after picking their noses, I still feel so pleased after my classes.

Tokyo in general is still also quite pleasant, although admittedly less so. I was really certain I wanted to stay another year, but now I am significantly less so, to the point if being pretty certain I DON'T want to stay. The summer so far has been a murderous 90+ and humid. I'm already a bit tired of the stares and wearing business clothes to teach and feeling rude eating in the street. But mostly I miss The Bay and my friends and Jeremy.

He's done a complete 180. He's in recovery, he's in therapy, he's gotten a significant promotion at his job, he's volunteering, and best of all...he wants to get married. In the next 2 years. And have babies as soon as we're financially able. I can't even begin to describe how good all that feels. It feels like all my dreams coming true. Like senpai finally noticed me. Like my life has finally become the romantic comedy every little girl secretly wants her life to be. It also feels too good to be true, so I am doing my best to be wary, but it's difficult.

Sukriti just came to visit and did not love Tokyo, but having her here and deciding mostly for sure that I'm not doing a second year has made me realize just how much I DO love this country and how much I need to appreciate and make the most of my time here. Festivals and fireworks and booze cruises and day trips here I come.

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