Feb. 27th, 2013 03:32 pm
emilie_rainbow: (alone)
[personal profile] emilie_rainbow

Today is my third full day in Japan, and the first one I've felt lonely in a homesick way. Part of that is having spent a lot of time with one of the girls who lives in my building over the past two days, but it's also just like facing that I LIVE here now. For a year. This isn't a short jaunt, this isn't studying abroad, I live and work in Japan.

They play Ke$ha and Green Day a lot. I like it, but it makes me homesick. I want to buy all the clothes, but I can't because I have to pay rent and buy food and I don't have a "trip budget", I just have paychecks which I won't start getting til APRIL. There are a lot of clothes I'd like to buy for Jeremy, but we're not talking until he is demonstrably better, which goodness only knows when that will be. I DON'T like my apartment, which sucks. It's on the most convenient but also crowded train line, it's close to my favorite districts but a far walk from necessities, it's old and grungy and I'm doing my best to make it cute but there's only so much one can do. I have to wear sandals in the shower and I don't feel like I have space to myself, even though my room at least is private. The people who live there are nice, but social which I am just not. I like being invited to things, but I will turn down at least 50% of all invitations because I would rather walk around alone or sit in my room and watch Supernatural.

I'm actually really happy, I'm just starting to get a touch homesick. I know not talking to Jeremy is better than talking to him right now because he can't always hear "I'm sad and lonely" without telling me to buck up in a way that HE thinks is helpful but actually makes me feel bad for feeling that way in the first place. And I feel bad enough about being sad but...it would be nice to talk to him. I dunno. I'm doing okay, overall. I think I just tired myself out.

Date: 2013-03-04 06:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ari-fairy.livejournal.com
I'm so sorry you're feeling homesick :( It is sort of inevitable, so just... work through it the best you can. When I got there to study abroad, I was running high for a few days until I was in Closet Child and the radio started playing that song "Country roaaaaads, take me home, to the place, I beloonnng" and I started crying in the store and had to try to gracefully hide it while I walked out. I ended up getting home a lot sooner than expected, of course, but at the time I though I'd be there for 6 months and it was so painful to suddenly realize that I wasn't REALLY where I belonged.

Do you have whatsapp or LINE? It would probably help to text a lot with people from home. Some of the loneliness can just come from not interacting with people for long periods, in a way you wouldn't if you were "home". Obviously you'll still be an ocean away, but some chatting might help to at least take the edge off of that sadness. I have both, so if you want to contact me, feel free too. I'm (707) 543-6163 on whatsapp, and... well, for LINE I'll have to check.



August 2016

789 10111213

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 19th, 2017 04:59 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios