emilie_rainbow (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
emilie_rainbow) wrote2010-02-06 02:47 pm
emilie_rainbow) wrote2010-02-06 02:47 pm
Entry tags:
changes
I keep thinking about how much my life has changed in the last year, but especially the last three months.
I got very, very drunk last night. Drunk enough that I was still kinda drunk when I woke up this morning, and am now nursing my first genuine hangover. I went out to bars with people that I actually know, got very drunk, danced, made out with my boyfriend in public, got felt up by my gay bff, almost flashed whoever was standing behind me when I crawled over Jeremy to give Nicole a hug (thankfully Jeremy pulled my skirt down, lol), and overall had an amazing night of drunken debauchery.
If I went back in time and told myself I would be having this evening like four years ago? I'm not sure if my self then would be more proud or disapproving. I always envied people who were able to let themselves go enough to get that drunk and in public. I've always been a little bit uptight and have had a hard time socializing and letting to. I know drinking is not the be all end all of socializing or letting go, but in my age range it's kind of a big deal and it's what we're "supposed" to be doing. I always felt like I was missing out on that fun, but I also kind of felt like a little...superior? Because I didn't get wasted and stumble around and drink to the point where I felt like I was going to throw up. (I didn't throw up, btw, just felt a lil pukey this morning).
But I had so much fun. I never understood why people went to bars or got soo wasted and crazy, but it's fun. And it was a safe environment, I was with my coworkers, and my favorite coworkers at that, and my lovely boyfriend who knows how to take care of a hungover girl the next day.
So...yeah. This might not seem like a huge change, but if you knew me during certain points in my life? You'd know that it really, really is. A positive change, but a change none the less.
I got very, very drunk last night. Drunk enough that I was still kinda drunk when I woke up this morning, and am now nursing my first genuine hangover. I went out to bars with people that I actually know, got very drunk, danced, made out with my boyfriend in public, got felt up by my gay bff, almost flashed whoever was standing behind me when I crawled over Jeremy to give Nicole a hug (thankfully Jeremy pulled my skirt down, lol), and overall had an amazing night of drunken debauchery.
If I went back in time and told myself I would be having this evening like four years ago? I'm not sure if my self then would be more proud or disapproving. I always envied people who were able to let themselves go enough to get that drunk and in public. I've always been a little bit uptight and have had a hard time socializing and letting to. I know drinking is not the be all end all of socializing or letting go, but in my age range it's kind of a big deal and it's what we're "supposed" to be doing. I always felt like I was missing out on that fun, but I also kind of felt like a little...superior? Because I didn't get wasted and stumble around and drink to the point where I felt like I was going to throw up. (I didn't throw up, btw, just felt a lil pukey this morning).
But I had so much fun. I never understood why people went to bars or got soo wasted and crazy, but it's fun. And it was a safe environment, I was with my coworkers, and my favorite coworkers at that, and my lovely boyfriend who knows how to take care of a hungover girl the next day.
So...yeah. This might not seem like a huge change, but if you knew me during certain points in my life? You'd know that it really, really is. A positive change, but a change none the less.
no subject
for me it was both a fear of losing control and thinking i was better then it. it was so liberating to get past those feelings and just learn to have fun.
there is something irreplaceable and indescribable about being some drunk debauchery with good friends in a place you feel comfortable. some of my most fond memories from undergrad involve doing just that and i am now not afraid to admit that (though as a freshman or sophomore i would have NEVER thought that would be the case)
i am glad that you had fun and are so happy,
i know you are probably busy with finishing up school and with the new boy but if you ever come up to the city and want to grab dinner give me a call, i'd love to see you
no subject
I would love to come see you in SF! I think the next time I'm going to be up there is sunday the 21st? We should get food or something! :D
no subject