Abandon thought and let the dream descend

Somehow I managed to miss the announcement about Oneesan's event at fanime! Who else is excited? And who else wants to go? $65 ain't bad, especially since I was going to fanime anyway so it's not like PMX where I had to decide if the entry AND the con badge AND the hotel were worth it. And this time I shouldn't be so distracted by boys! So excited!

Next quarter and summer are really looking up. Taking 2 easy and exciting classes (a Disney class and a Sociology of popular culture class) that start late monday and don't happen friday, so I basically have a four day weekend. Wondercon, Fanime, this Lolita event, graduation (urg), gonna meet Jeremy's parents, then spending most of summer at home relaxing, plus Anime Expo, one day of Comic Con, and Lady Gaga and possibly Green Day/AFI. Add to that a few exciting movies (Iron Man! Eclipse!) and once my finals are over (tomorrow at 10!), life is gonna be pretty sweet.

...of course I still have to make it through today. Went to bed at 3 last night, up at 6:30 for 8 AM "final" I'm still at, have two 3-5 pag papers to write today, then work from 11 to 2 AM, and I have to get up at like 9 or so to turn my paper in at 10. Sigh. But I soldier on, cuz after that it's my BIRTHDAY and then, like I said, life will become sweeeeet.

( Here are some pictures of my face and the faces of some of those who I heart dearly. )

I'm "working on a midterm" right now, hahahahahaaa. I'm taking the class pass no pass sooo yeah, I'm not exactly putting much thought/energy/anything into writing this shizznit.

I'm going to wear Lolita tomorrow. I'm excited. I don't care if it's raining and cold, my life needs color right now.

<3

( It's been awhile )

I've been in kind of a funk lately and I don't even know why. School's started, which I don't mind but I did have to suffer through a week of a class I didn't care about before my independent study got approved. Work is kinda shit because Trevor isn't there, and I'm mostly shelving which gives me wayyy too much time to get lost in the whirpool of my brain. Joel living on campus without a car is posing the same problems it did last year. Japanese is kind of really difficult because native speakers get places into J103, and, obviously, they are at a much higher level than those of us who started Japanese two years ago.

I've mostly been hiding in my room watching hours upon hours of One Piece. I love it so, so much. And I've passed the 250 episode mark! More than half way.

Now to watch Vampire Diaries and then ice cream with Joel. Hopefully it will make me feel better?

Okay kids, so I am in a rather awesome class called "Gender and Cultural Politics". It's basically all about the various ways one can be feminist through cultural politics and productions rather than traditional political venues. We talk about the Spice Girls and their meaning to feminism, whether or not prostitution and pornography are bad for women, and we watch a lot of Tyra. Like I said, rather awesome.

Now, for our final project we're supposed to create a counter-hegemonic cultural product, IE some kind of cultural artifact that in some way destabilizes or destroys the way mainstream society views sex and/or gender. So people are creating feminist beauty pageants, outlining a feminist porn project, writing stories for little kids about masturbation, etc. I have decided to create a counter-hegemonic Lolita ad campaign!

So that was a lot of feministy jargon, so I'm sure y'all are wondering what it means and what it has to do with you. My project is essentially going to be creating an ad for a Lolita line that is fundamentally different from what we usually see. I'm not going to have pictures of girls standing demurely with a parasol, or reading a book by lacy curtains. And certainly no girls turned into human candy commodities! I want real Lolitas doing real things, especially counter-intuitive things. So everything from pumping gas to reading playboy. Lolitas dancing, Lolitas reading comic books, Lolitas giving the finger, Lolitas holding activist signs and shouting, Lolitas mowing the lawn, Lolitas doing anything that someone who doesn't know anything about a Lolita would assume a Lolita wouldn't do.

Here's where you come in! Send me pictures of you doing counter-hegemonic things! Send me pictures of you looking trashy! Looking strong! Looking tough! Looking sexay! Looking anyway that isn't the assumed ideal of demure, dainty, and softly feminine.

Also, I doubt I have to say this, but this project IN NO WAY reflects my opinions on the Lolita as a lifestyle vs. a fashion debate, or even what I think about Lolita advertisement. I like the ads, I have a bunch of them on my wall, I think they're beautiful. I also don't think there is anything wrong with choosing to dress a certain way and follow a lifestyle that fits with that fashion choice. They're both expressions of who you are inside, and if you're dainty and like tea and cupcakes, more power to you. The point of this project is just to create something that is outside the norm and challenges assumptions that people may make about a person based on their gender and how they choose to perform it. Lolitas, based on looks alone, are choosing to perform their gender in a very traditionally feminine way. But that, of course, does not mean that all of us are classically feminine in our lives and I find this dichotomy very interesting. Ambiguity destabilizes, and by dressing one way and acting a completely different way you are challenging gender stereotypes. That is the point of this project. It DOES NOT mean that I don't love me some tea and cake and listening to classical music while I read A Little Princess by lacy curtains. I love that, too, and it's destabilizing in it's whole own way that would require more thought for me to articulate. I'm just trying to counter the way Lolita is typically marketed to it's audience.

Okay, that got really long. Been reading too much theory in between episodes of Tyra, or something. But, anywhoo, I want all y'all to help me in my endeavor! They don't need to be nice pictures, just a quick snap of you doing something outrageous/outside the norm/unexpected. Or even just looking unexpected, like stompy boots with sweet Lolita or a shaved head in hime. Help a sista out. It's due next Friday.

Thanks, dudes. :)

I spent the whole weekend locked in my room "writing my paper". By which, of course, I mean watching Soul Eater, going out with the Lolis for a bit on Saturday, spending a little time with Elena and them Saturday night, and whining about the fact that Joel stole my car for the weekend. But I did finish my paper! Too bad I still have another one to write that's due on Wednesday. Sigh.

Also, my internet was down all motherf-ing weekend, so I still don't have fanime pics. I will, I promise, but right now I'm at work, and thus no picture access.

( I do have access to Angelic Pretty, though! )

Too bad I don't have any money because I had to pay for fanime, still have to pay for AX and Comic Con, my love for sushi and manga often outweigh my need for Lolita because it seems cheaper, and I just bought a new computer. ;_;

Why are there so many different editions of the Twilight DVD? Why do they all have different special features? I WANT THEM ALL, ARGH. Actually, just the borders, amazon, and target ones. The hot topic version just comes with a film cell. Boooooo.

My paper is going to be way too long. I have about 3 pages written out of 8-10, and I'm only like maaaaayyybe done with 15%. There's just so much to say, and I'm trying to include original theory, this really amazing book on modern vampire literature, fan reactions, interviews with Catherine Hardwicke, and interviews with RPattz, in addition to my analysis of Twilight as a text all on its own. So it's kind of a lot. And it takes a lot out of me to write. It's like giving birth, or something. And I'm basically useless after about midnight and don't get off work until 8 and urrrrrg. I think this may be my shittiest finals week of all time ever.

In other news, I've been listening to Hannah Montana and it's keeping me upbeat! I totally want to see the movie...lol. I'm so lame.

I basically died of need when I saw these, zomg. But: blue or pink?

It's rainy again. I'm kind of okay with it, but I'm ready for spring. Although, I keep hearing about how it's snowing in other parts of the country and I kind of wish it would snow here. I've never really been in the snow...I visited a couple of times when I was a little girl, but it was long enough ago that I don't really remember what it was like.

I had lavender flavored ice cream the other day. As in lavender flower flavored. It was interesting. A little sour, but in a good way. I really want to try rose ice cream.

The end of the quarter is such crap. I need to go bury myself in the history of Cantonese women from 1900-1950 and theories of the female spectator as they can be related to Twilight (~_^), but I just want to lie in bed and read and watch the rain.

I love the internet. I love fandom. But you know what I love almost as much as the internet and fandom? Getting to talk about BOTH of those things in a LEGITIMATE way for a CLASS. I mean, I've written papers on Buffy, done a presentation on the history of Lolita, but on Tuesday I got to talk about SLASH. :DD

So, this weeks topic in "Images, Power, and Politics: Methods in Visual and Textual Analysis" was Viewers Make Meaning, and one other girl and I got tapped to do a presentation. It wasn't supposed to be a big deal, just define the terms from our chapter, think up some discussion questions, maybe 30 minutes of dialogue, etc. Between the two of us, we took up and hour and 30 minutes. It was kind of amazing. One of our terms was Textual Poaching and my first thought was, omg, fan fiction! So I talk to my professor, and she's like really excited because she knows what fan fiction is AND she watches Heroes, which is the show I decide to talk about. I show a clip from season two and...this. (note: that song is a gift to slash fans, srsly. There were PAGES and PAGES of slash vids for that song. My all time favorite is from Haruhi, though)

It went over well. The people in my class were kind of...incredulous? They didn't know fandom existed, basically, so I schooled them on fandom and slash fic and all that jazz. My professor wanted to know how popular Sylar/Mohinder was within the fandom and I was like, "Well, uh, there's Paire, Petrellicest..." and the class was like "BZUH? Petrellicest??" so I had to show a video of that, too, and then spend a good long time explaining how the world of fandom is often a world for people to...air their kinks? Like how mylar_fic (and a lots of other comms...) have tags for non-con (rape, basically) and necrophilia. The second is, um, extreme to say the least, but torture and rape and all that good hot kind of messed up stuff is fairly common. I kept prefacing what I said with "I don't want to scare you away from the internet, but..." Although, I've come to the realization that being a part of fandom from a young age is part of what has given me my open mind about sexuality. I mean, I was reading Taito porn at the tender age of, like, 12. It's just so much a part of internet culture, that it's almost hard not to be accepting of many different forms or sexuality.

Anyway...

Twilight Unicorn Orgasms. Lol, I don't know why its so huge.

So I'm sitting on a bench staring at the ocean because my monarch sanctuary lacks monarchs, listening to music that's more melancholy than I actually am, watching tourists in clothes for much warmer weather than it is, trying to get japanese women out of my head. And I feel really good.

To get away from my attempt at lovely language, I just owned my japanese history test. If I never have to write about the good wife, wise mother ideology (for reference, think cult of domesticity) again, it will be too soon, but at least I rocked it, and with almost no preparation, too. Especially compared to James who had a two page outline in 10pt font. Mine was not even a paragraph. I just rock and roll all night long at japanese women's history. Although, my hand hurts now.

Tomorrow I have my japanese chapter test and then midterm season is over. Break until finals, basically. I can finish New Moon, get through eclipse, and then suffer until the next one comes out this summer. I'm glad Nicole (and now Pollymae!) are reading it at the same time because having someone to obsess with is the greatest gift of all. My next excitement is the Indiana Jones midnight opening, but that whole weekend is like one huge orgy of excitement, Dr. Jones is just the foreplay. Indiana Jones, Fanimecon, my first real Lolita meet-up, and thursday through monday with Joel. <333

My rocking horse shoes came today! They are also ridiculously exciting. I will posts pictures of me in them, cuz they're hard to visualize, but you shall see.

Also, I really, really love the cure. I just thought y'all should know.

So, as so frequently is true, when I get stressed out I tend to get ill. Such as sunday evening, all day yesterday, and today. Sunday evening I still worked because I am a good little library worker bee (and sunday nights are dull), but I spent all of yesterday in bed. My wonderful day-off-from-school-therefore-REASEARCHLIKEHWHOA day became sleep and watch the history channel on and off day. Today I dragged myself out of bed around 10, felt a lot better, went to school with every intention of getting some shit done to make up for yesterday, when I realized...getting up and moving around makes me feel very, very ill. So I napped at a study carrel-thingy for about 20 minutes until the sickness subsided and I felt normal again. Got a little done, went to class, SUCH a waste of my time, came home, and realized I am SO not ready for my Japanese test on Friday. I was going over the review sheet (which we are supposed to have finished by tomorrow, but which she did not send out until yesterday), and if I weren't so tired from illness, I would've started freaking out. That's the one good thing about my stress-induced sickness: it puts things in perspective and makes me too tired to stress, so I tend to just get things done with less emotional waste.

I'm going to try to make some more headway on the review sheet, but I think I may just turn in for the night and watch Becoming Jane.